Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Would you come and sit down with me?

What is FrienD?

Is it somebody who always be with you?

or is it a person that always be there when you need?

is it a person who cry with you when you cry?

or is it a person who cheer you up?

is it a person who remembers you in his/her precious moments?

are they people who you like most in the world?

are they people who you want to be with most of the time?

are they people to share with when you have great experiences? or maybe when you have troubles?

Are they people who you miss most of the time?

Are they people to rely on?



....



For me, a friend is who makes me feel more meaningful to exist in this world.

Friends are who, even though I might not get in contact so oftenly, their existence makes me stronger, give me hopes, and hold me up when I lose every courages.

They exist even though I don't see them.



Friends....

the more you love them from your heart, even though you don't expect the love back, it surely comes to you again.

(maybe better not expect, coz most of the time, expectation would be bigger than the reality. also, expectation makes the love not pure anymore)


I love you my friends.

From the deep in my heart...

THank you for beautiful memories with laughter, with jokes, with tears, with pain, with struggle, with warmness...

Your existence makes my life more meaningful.

more colorful

makes me feel glad to be born.


I can't wait to see you again...

my dear frienDs....


=Dinamysa=


Sunday, September 30, 2007

Maybe almost every women have been feeling this.
Need an attention from your guys, but don't get it, and feel mad about that.

I've been seeing many friends of mine, who has more needs than me to get attentions from their partners. I've been thinking that I am a quite cool woman, who is not attached to partner's attention, or not hoping too much for sweet things from a partner.
Before, all I need is to express my loving feeling to my partner and makes him happy. Seeing him happy is enough for me. And even though sometimes I expect something from him too, whatever I get, I am happy, and most of the time, I feel enough. I feel content with that.

But I don't know what I am facing now. I've shown my love feeling and caring like usual. No response. Then I let it for a while, and then I express it again. And then no response again. Okay, then gradually I find out, that I don't want to be a woman who is waiting for a response from A MAN or A PARTNER so bad, and having too much thinking about that.

I hate being like that.

I know that he is not hating me or neglecting me. I know he loves me too. Because he told me.
But, this condition makes me want to stop spending my time too much thinking about this, about him.

Girls, Women, you are more valuable than that. (I want to tell this to every woman in this world). You have your gracious, your brain, your smartness, your beauty, your charm, so your time could be used for something more valuable. Because YOU ARE VALUABLE ENOUGH FOR THAT.

If you have a dream of your self, this is the time to think more seriously about that. It shouldn't be affected by your partner's attitudes. People, either man or woman, has their own role, and their own mission, their own dream to achieve. Something that ONLY YOU who can make it, who can realize it.

So, once again, when you need love or attention from your partner, but your partner don't seem to understand that, wait for a while. If they response when your true feeling is still OK, still nice, then it is time for you to enjoy the feel of love between you and your partner. But if they are not coming up yet (up to now), or if they are too late, don't get too long in that worriness. It is a time for you to spread your wings toward the world. The world is big enough that you can fly away wherever your heart tells.

It is a time to be an expert in pleasing yourself. or at least be good in that.
Sometimes, we cannot expect people to please us. We need to learn how to please ourselves, with our own ways.

For those who read this (FOR WOMEN), maybe I sound like a desperate woman. But trust me, soon or later, you will feel this kind of feeling too, at least once in your life time. (or maybe you already had)
Because unless you are lesbian, your partner would never know how woman feels. Well, some man looks like understand, or at least try to (or pretend to?) understand woman because of their experiences with women in his life. But they wouldn't understand it like women do.
Why is that? because they are Men, and we are Women.
Like Woman would never understand THE REAL THINKING of a man, then man would also never understand THE REAL THINKING of a woman.

And for THOSE MAN WHO READ THIS, I am sorry if I sound like harsh to you, but if your partner is doing those kind of things (like I mention above), please LEAVE THEM ALONE. Let them enjoy their life, their WORLD for a while.

If you are the REAL ONE for her, or IF YOU ARE LUCKY, then she surely will come back to you someday, when the time comes. Like nothing was happened.
She just need time, need air, need to FORGET ABOUT YOU for a while. To know what is TRUTH, what is THE TRUE MEANING of herself.
But if you are not the real one for her, well, just forget it.
Umm.. maybe you can show your effort before you let it go. Because women LIKES TO FEEL WANTED, especially from a man that she likes. She doesn't want to be together with somebody who seems not wanting her too much.
Maybe you can try it and we will see what will happen next.
But if it also doesn't work, well, sorry to tell, but maybe you need to find another chance with another woman.

And also, if your girlfriend (or partner) is being nice to you most of the time.
DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. Because we wouldn't know when woman's volcano will explode. (even herself also doesn't know when. that is the mystery of a woman)

a flower wouldn't grow if you don't water it. Also, a love can only grow if you take care of it sometimes. It doesn't have to be watering ALL THE TIME, but you need to recognize your flower, how many times a day, or a week, or a month, you need to water it.

thank you for reading till the end.

Thank you BLOG!
I feel better now.

I am ready to spread my wings to my world!

and good luck for all of you too!


Dinamysa

Friday, September 28, 2007

Akhir-akhir ini terpikir untuk melihat masa depan, tapi juga memandang masa lalu. Terutama sekarang ini lebih sering mikirin masa-masa lalu. Masa kecil, masa sekolah, masa kuliah. Entah kenangan indah atopun kenangan sedih, tapi yg pasti ada adalah perasaan kangen sama masa-masa itu. Am I that old?? nggak juga sih, mungkin sepertiga hidup pun belom kelewat (moga-moga... amin!) tapi 25 tahun itu kayak pendek, tapi juga panjang. kalo mau nginget kenangan2 selama 25 tahun ini, dikasih berapa jam, berapa hari, berapa minggu pun kayaknya gak bakal keinget semua. gak bakal cukup waktu buat ngebangkitin semua memori itu. Kadang aku mikir, manusia itu ajaib. Memori yang kayaknya udah ilang dan gak bakal keinget lagi, suatu saat bisa tiba2 bangkit, dan kadang2 memori itu jelas banget dan kadang2 berwarna. Is that the magic of mind? the magic of spirit? the magic of soul? Semua memori dan kenangan terserap di dalam jiwa kita. Mengingatnya kadang-kadang bisa ngebantu kita untuk ngenal diri kita lebih dalem, ato juga ngenal org2 lain di dalam memori itu.

dan setelah nge-flash back memori2 itu, aku ngerasa bersyukur udah hidup. udah bisa kenal sama orang-orang ini. udah bisa ada interaksi sama orang-orang ini, yang kadang2 interaksinya gak selalu indah2 aja. tapi tetep berharga. malah mungkin sama (atau lebih?) berharganya sama interaksi sama org2 yg hebat dan menyenangkan.
aku bersyukur bisa punya tubuh ini sebagai "sarana" untuk ngerasain hidup di dunia ini, untuk ketemu sama orang2 itu, untuk hadir di dunia ini sebagai "aku".
"so what do I need more?"

walaupun kadang2 lupa sama perasaan ini dan sebagai akibatnya punya keinginan atau harapan untuk sesuatu yang lebih bagus, lebih hebat, lebih indah.

tapi, kalo kita berhenti sejenak dan liat sekeliling kita (sekarang atau selama ini), mengingatkan kita kalau kita udah diberi cukup. bahkan lebih dari cukup.

ini juga ngebuat pandangan yang cerah buat masa depan. make us realize that everything had been given to us were the best for us. and it will also be like that from now on. either bad things or good things, all are the best things being given to us.

so let us sail the boat again and go forward.

because many wonderful thing are waiting for us in the future.

thanks God for giving me this life.


dinamysa

Monday, September 24, 2007

hi, udah lama ngga ngisi blog. sekarang aku lagi nyoba satu hal. ngelakuin sesuatu yg simpel tapi tiap hari... harus tiap hari!! skrg lagi nyobain diri sendiri utk bisa ngelakuin itu. sekarang ini yg aku coba adalah nulis satu paragraf di diary (tulisan beneran, bukan blog) setiap hari. ini emang pekerjaan simpel tapi susah utk dilaksanain. But I am sure I can do that ! at least I can try to do that. Dimulai dr tgl 10 september 2007, aku punya tekad utk ngejalanin itu selama 1 minggu. kata orang, kalo kita mau berjuang, mendingan dikasi waktunya : misalnya utk 1 bulan ini, atau utk 3 bulan ini, atau utk 3 hari ini! gitu. kalo nggak, orang itu susah utk ngelaksanain sesuatu yg berat. tapi kalo dikasi batas waktu sebulan, misalnya. kita bisa ngelakuin itu. krn perjuangannya bukan utk selamanya, ada batas waktunya. nah, makanya aku coba dgn 1 minggu dulu. 3 hari pertama, aku bisa ngejalanin. padahal niatnya 1 paragraf, tapi tny sampe 1 halaman ato kadang2 2halaman. impian gue, kalo gue nulis 1 paragraf tiap hari, mungkin setaun bisa jadi satu buku. kali2 aja ternyata hidup gue gak datar2 aja, tp banyak pengalaman en pelajaran hidup. we wouldn't know until we try it. mengenai tema yg aku tulis tiap hari, yaitu aku flash back satu hari yg aku jalanin, trus aku pusatin pikiran ke hal2 yg sering muncul di pikiranku selama ngejalanin satu hari itu. aku tulis semua yg aku pikirin itu, juga hal2 yang aku nggak bisa bilang atau konsultasi ke org lain. Waktu bisa ngejalanin ini tiap hari (well tepatnya 3-4 hari), efeknya udah kerasa. aku jadi lebih tenang ngejalanin hari berikutnya. krn biasanya pikiran di hari kemarin masih nyangkut ke hari berikutnya. dan akhirnya rasanya resah tiap hari krn selalu ada yg belom selesai. tp kalo ditulis (ditumpahin) dan stl itu dilupain, besoknya bisa ngejalanin dgn hati dan pikiran fresh.

tapi kenyataannya, aku mentok di hari ke-5. entah apa krn di hari ke-4 aku cerita hal ini (tekad utk ngejalanin ini) ke seseorang, atau entah apa krn aku tiba2 jd sibuk tak terkontrol, abis itu blank.......... sampe akhirnya lewat 9 hari! ternyata emang susah ya ngejalanin sesuatu secara konstan. especially utk org spt gue yang tiba2 bisa tertimpa kemalasan tak terkira... tapi di hari ke-9 yg blank ini, aku mulai lagi. people always make mistakes, but they also always have a chance to change, to fix it. so why don't I take the chance? daripada tertimpa rasa kesal en tak berdaya sama kemalasan diri. I don't know when, but I started to be a brighter person. I don't want to be too long in my mistakes and look at the mistake picture for loooong long time. I want to go forward.

so that is my learning today.


dinamysa

Thursday, May 10, 2007

buat temen-temen gue yang baik en manis en perhatian...

udah setaun gue nyoba tinggal di Jepang, dari akhir maret taon 2006 kemarin...

udah ngerasain 4 musim... en dah balik ke musim yg sama dgn waktu gue pertama dtg ke sini...

semi-panas-gugur-salju-semi lagi...

masa-masa dingin yg paling gue takuti jg dah terlewati... (untungnya taun kemarin gak sedingin taun-taun sebelumnya... katanya...)

dari bulan oktober taon 2006, gue tinggal di tempat yang namanya Nikko. utk ke sini, kita mesti naek kereta sekitar 2-3jam dari tokyo... tempatnya lebih dingin dari tokyo, kaya akan alam (gunung, sungai, air terjun, danau, hutan, etc) gue di sini dari musim gugur kemarin, trus musim salju, en skrg musim semi (udah mau abis sih...) Nikko emang kaya akan alam... setiap musim, pemandangannya bagus banget! kayak foto karya fotografer profesional, or kayak gambar...! tapi kalo difoto, keindahannya berkurang ampe separonya... (perkiraan gue)

kalo musim gugur, daon2 pada merah, oranye, kuning... pokoknya warna-warni, en paduannya jadi indah bgt! kalo musim dingin, daun pada ilang (tinggal ranting2), secara keseluruhan jadi putih kebiruan (putih karena ketutupan salju), kalo musim semi, daun2 bermunculan, bunga2 mulai mekar... giling.. indah bgt!!! kalo di Indonesia kan setaon musim panas or hujan, jadi gue baru kali ini ngeliat daun-daun di pepohonan pd mulai tumbuh berbarengan... warnanya hijau muda, seger bgt! bener-bener kayak baru bangun dari tidurnya yg lama.... chieh.. puitis lho..

trus, di tempat yg ada sakuranya, tumbuh berbagai jenis sakura (ntah namanya apa aja tuh... org jepang aja gak tau kok..) tapi bunga sakura itu bener2 cuma bentar tumbuhnya... rasanya baru aja mekar en lagi cantik2nya, eh taunya udah rontok en tumbuh daon2 hijau skrg...
pantes aja sakura jadi lambang negara Jepang.. tau gak kenapa... krn sakura itu melukiskan "kecantikan" ala Jepang... indah banget sampe bikin org terpana, tapi tau-tau udah rontok dan habis waktu cantiknya... alias, org Jepang itu suka banget sama sesuatu yg cantik or indah, tetapi sifatnya gak abadi... justru krn gak abadi, makanya keindahan itu jadi spesial, en tetep tinggal di hati masing2 orang, walopun dah gak keliatan...

cantik ala Jepang ini muncul juga di barang-barang buatan org Jepang. kayak bungusan kue2... padahal kan yg penting makanannya (alias kuenya) yg enak, jadi bungkusan mah masalah nomer sekian, asal makanannya awet... tp justru org jepang memeras energi utk memperindah bungkusannya. selain nunjukin rasa hormat en menyenangkan org yg dikasi (kue), juga utk menikmati keindahan sesaat dari bungkusan itu, walaupun akhirnya bakal disobek, dan dibuang. tetapi sesaat sebelom dimakan itu sangat penting bagi mereka... pokoknya nggak ngasal deh....

kocak tp emang bener, kalo dari satu barang or produk hasil negara itu, bisa bercerita banyak tentang karakter negara yg ngebikinnya...


ok.. utk hari ini sekian dulu ceritanya...


tp gue berencana utk kadang-kadang ngisi blog ini, tentang pengalaman or hal-hal yg gue rasain selama tinggal di Jepang...
satu, untuk wadah gue curhat...
dua, untuk nyeritain ke temen-temen di Indonesia or temen-temen berbahasa Indonesia..
tiga, untuk keep in touch en mempersempit jarak yg ada ini.. (nyebrang lautan bo)
empat, untuk dibaca lagi kapan-kapan , lumayan buat nginget apa2 yg pernah gue tulis di sini...


jd buat temen2 yg ada waktu buat baca, silakan baca... en kalo mo kasih komen silakan, or kalo ada yg mau ditanyain silakan jg... siapa tau gue bisa cari tau jawabannya di sini, en ngejawab..

okeh! love you, all of my friends!!
and keep in touch!


dinamysa




udah 2tahun gak ngisi blogger... dan sekarang timbul lagi niat utk iseng-iseng ngisi...
timbul karena wadah buat cerita ma temen2 jadi jauh berkurang... jd perlu nyari cara lain biar bisa cerita-ceriti ma temen-temen....

moga-moga temen2 gue pada suka buka blogger gue en baca.. or at least gak benci ngebukanya... :P

yg pasti... makasih utk teknologi!!!

ok... let's start!!